20th Century Rocks - 04/11/2003

Now then. Tuesday again, and that means one thing. Me in your inbox. Time flies, 20 weeks in already, still going strong. Got an eye on Man U v Rangers and am pleased to say it is 3 - 0 to Man U. I am NOT a fan of Rangers (understatement of the night). anyway.... Hope you're all well. Here's yer block. Sit on it!

First, as always, the new 'uns. Remember i put an SOS out on Alex Moran recently? Bumped into her in Town on Saturday. She's now in the list, living in Paris so possibly won't make it - But we live in hope! also, Graeme Haigh is in da house, had a good chat with him Saturday. Graeme is working for Eddisons and is pretty high up the ladder, so stand next to him at the reunion if you're skint! Ello to both - May your inboxes ne'er be the same...

In addition to speaking to Graeme, i also spoke to Mark Tippen and he is VERY MUCH up for a reunion, he was like a big kid on the phone! Mark is the grand-daddy of us all, he was the oldest member back in '86 when it all kicked off. Think he's about 62 now.

Footie. If one more person mails to tell me Leeds ae the strongest in the Premiership IE propping everyone else up, i'll do a special on 'em. Can't defend them at the mo though. Scunthorpe 6 Town 2. Wahey! THATS more like it. Leeds WILL move up that table - Newcastle did it. So can we!

Youth choir section - Stick your details in if / when you can, it is flat as a pancake at the mo. Liven it up! Pop its seams!!! ANY pics you have, send 'em my way - Got a new PC and a digital camera this weekend to add to my impressive technology collection, but still no scanner. JPEGS or GIFS on e mail please and i'll do the rest!

Kath Wildman sent a wicked mail with enough stuff in for a 20 part series. Cheers Kath - Watch this space!

3 people have said the last week in January aint good for 'em. Might have to juggle the date again then!

There is a feature in the Sun today stating which cars are the easiest to break into. Are they thick or what? EVERY car thief in the country now has a copy of the article in his back pocket! If you're driving a Daewoo, heaven help ya!

I've just remembered that Graeme is in touch with Alex Uff, another recent SOS, and is seeing him soon - Thats another one to tick off on the list!

Why the **** don't they put the "water fill level" on the INSIDE of a Pot Noodle?

Kiddie Quote. Danielle, eating her tea tonight, let rip an almighty f*rt. After telling her off, i couldnt help but laugh at her answer of "I was just trying to keep me tea warm". Bless 'em!

Film / TV - Watched Final Destination 2 this weekend, it is excellent, as opposed to Oceans Eleven which was rubbish. No doubt half the world and his brother will join me in trying to see "Matrix Revolutions" this week. Best TV ad at the mo - the one for Sky Plus with Alice Cooper and Ronnie Corbett. Marvellous stuff.

Ok, ok. Enuff of that. More of this. All prepared during the 1st half of the Man U match!

SOS OF THE WEEK

Male = Simon Garton. Despite his entry on friendsreunited, i have heard nothing from Mr Deep Voice. Anyone know where he is? Let me know.

Female = Saffron Stanfield. This girl was weird, but harmless. Her dress sense made the girls in "little house on the Prairie" look like Supermodels. Know where she is, or where her gaff is? Let me know!

USELESS FACTS OF OUR TIME. PART 20.

Janet Tice's back sometimes turns blue on a Monday morning. And her Uncles cat has never been south of Dublin, whilst wearing long-johns. On a Friday night.

MEMORY OF THE WEEK

A footie match occured between the choir lads and the staff at the hotel (or prison camp as it became known) where the girls were staying on the Isle of Wight. Our lot lost about 55 - 12. Which was mainly due to the fact that half of us were drunk, but also due to the fact that we were sh*t.

PERSON OF THE WEEK

This weeks gong goes to Graeme Haigh for his blatant denial on the phone that it was him ALONE that invented my nickname "Weasel", citing messrs Kaye and Hoggett as the inventors. Nice try Graeme - But it was DEFINITELY you! Raise your Champers, and b*lch the name "Graeme" as loud as you can in honour of this top man.

10 DODGY CHOIR RELATIONSHIPS. PART 20.

Saffron Stansfield. And her "inner self"

Saffron was so eccentric that she made Timmy Mallett look like John Major. She often got in touch with her inner self, in the hope of finding friendship. Saffron often had candlelit dinners with her self, but the relationship finally ended once she fell in love with her pencil case at Uni.

ANAGRAM OF THE WEEK

"I, MISS ALEXANDRA MORAN" / Anorexia, and slim mars

SONGS WE SANG. AND WHO THEY WERE REALLY WRITTEN FOR. PART 10.

"Stable Carol"

this John rutter masterpiece was actually a spelling mistake, and was originally called "Table Barrel" and was about David Hartley's tum. THE classic line "Oh now carry me for Curry, you - To eat me nan, and Keema too. When me Vindaloo is down me neck, the King of Curry is me name."

POETRY CORNER

this week, an ode to Gary Kaye - The maddest, but, at the same time, highly amusing, person i have ever met.

"My name is Gary, surname Kaye.
I cannot sing a note.
I'm in this choir, but there's no way
I'm going to use my throat.

My name is Kaye, my name is Gary.
I love to have a laugh.
I'm such a loon, i'll never marry.
And my middle name is Kath.

My name is Gary Kaye, for sure.
I love to fool about.
I am so rude, i'm far from pure -
And thats why they kicked me out!!!!

I thank you.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

Last weeks answer - The geezer in Viz with the stubbly mam was Biffa Bacon, and the man on the Telly was roger Mellie. Big up to Jason Littlewood - the only one to get it right! Did you not READ your Viz at school!!?? This week - Branching out, again, a bit. In the classic horror film "an American Werewolf in London", a future English comedy star makes a Cameo appearance in the pub at the start of the film. who was it? 1st in gets a bag of nails, my mum, and a free house (courtesy of Eddisons). There's a bonus prize of a Rabbit's t*rd for the 1st to tell me the Tv series that the aforementioned first made his mark in. Good luck.. (that should get yer cogs working!)

DISH OF THE WEEK

Hope yer hungry. As a starter, the chef is serving the masterpiece that is "The voice within" by Christina Aguilera (a tasty didh in herself, it has to be said). Your main course tonight is the lip smacking "It must be love" by Madness. Marvellous memories. Soothe yerselves with a dessert of "see you" by Depeche Mode, if you're old enough to remember it. Wine tonight is in the form of "what a girl wants" by, again, Christina Aguilera (guess who I'M into at the mo!). Coffee is being served in the form of "too much too young" by Special AKA. Marvellous stuff. This weeks Wildman offering is the exceptional "Raving i'm raving" by Shut up and Dance. Please enjoy your meals...

JOKE OF THE WEEK

The entire Town football squad that turned ip at Scunny on Saturday.

HANDY HINTS

Hijackers. Avoid a long and stressful siege, and the risk of arrest and imprisonment, by simply booking a seat on the flight you intend to go on.

PETER KAYE ONE - LINERS

"S*x is like a game of Bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

Wahey! thats yer lot for this week, might create some new series for next week. See how it goes. Send me your all and your everything, nothing is too much for me inbox! Any pics, suggestions, contacts, ideas, inclusions for this mail etc are welcome. Don't forget to sign the guestbook and have a good look around at www.hcsyc.co.uk which is a wicked site - Continuing thanx to Jon for his tireless work on it.

On a final note, Leeds United are bottom of the table. Just in case anyone fancied reminding me!

Look after yerselves, and keep in touch!

Adios

Dave