Now then. No, you ain't seeing things. This is a block mail!!! Wahey! It takes more than a picky bigwig to flatten a weasel! Plenty to say in this mail, none of which is a complaint or anything - So fear not. Tonguelashings are done and dusted. For good, hopefully! Hope you're all well. Here's yer block. Hoof it up the *rse!

Right, formalities first. Thanx to all who have mailed (pushing 50) in sympathy etc - Yeah, i WAS miffed, i thought "why should i take all this on if i get it all thrown in me face", but your mails, some thinking and lots of yummy high percentage wine has made me u-turn. Lee Birmingham and, in particular, James Hargrave, have come up with excellent suggestions and solutions. To sum it all up in a nutshell though, and i really don't give a **** who reads this - I am DAMNED if an excellent night out for all of us is going to be ruined by some pen pushing g*t with nothing better to do than work his / her way through everything in life with a fine toothed comb. There - All of chest. And sooooo...

1. James suggestion of a committee is a beauty - It would mean that, if future discrepancies or "mistakes" (or SCANDALOUS, life threatening usage of other peoples logos) occurs, I don't shoulder the blame and responsibility alone. Candidates for a committee (we can meet up once a month or do it all online if / when it is formed) mail me by Friday 6pm telling me why you should be on it! Ladies, the answer of "because i've got big b**bs will NOT get you a place! (unless accompanied by a snapshot). Fellas, swearing allegiance to Leeds United when i know you're a Man U fan ALSO won't work. Let me know - Weasel. 1st nomination - As chairman. Any objections?

(Can i have Christina Aguilera as secretary?)

2. IMPORTANT. I have said it before and say it again - anyone who does NOT want to be a part of this or DOES NOT want to be in this block list, MUST let me know. I won't be offended in the slightest and don't need to know why - Just noticed there are a number of names in this list that i got addresses for from other members, who have never mailed me. Possibly 'cos they don't wanna hurt my feelings. Just DO it! And i'll take you out - No questions asked, no hard feelings, and no gossiping behind your back. This also applies to anyone that's gonna bring politics into this like some have - You are COMPLETELY entitled to your opinion of David Crowther etc - But keep it to yerself as it ain't relevant in this. It's a choir member reunion and has nothing to do with what David did or didn't do.

WICKED. I am all the more determined to pull this off now. Whatever happens with the website and the logo is out of my hands as you know, so if it stays, it stays - I told the choral i have had nothing to do with that site without dropping anyone's name.

So - Reunion? You bet. Time for a bit of fun? You DEFINITELY bet

Haven't prepared this 'cos 3 days ago, it didn't exist, so will try me best.

Say 'ello to Caroline and Nicola Moulson and Emma - Jane Parkin, all new this week. Sorry you've stepped into the middle of a crisis ladies - But believe me, it is a crisis which is now certified dead, just as certain it is that you will see Peter Reid signing on at your local labour exchange tomorrow. Enjoy the blocks - May your inboxes ne'er be the same.

Got Martin Cooper aswell. Brilliant. Martin has no e mail, which is even better, 'cos it means i can still take the p*ss out of him in these.

ANAGRAM OF THE WEEK.

"Dave Kennedy alias Weasel drinking several beers on a Saturday night. In the White Hart." / ADIEU, HEAVY KENYA DISHWASHER. BREADWINNING, GASTROINTESTINAL HELTER SKELTER. If you don't believe me, try it.

(guess who's got an anagram generator online)

DISH OF THE WEEK

Bl**dy marvellous. As a starter, the chef is serving the delights of "It must be love" by Madness. Your main course tonight is the delightful "Peter Gunn" by Art of Noise and Duane Eddy. It's finger licking good! Dessert is in the form of "all star" by Smash Mouth - the opening song in "Shrek" which is a QUALITY film. Boogie on down for a wine of "Get down on it" by Kool and the Gang. Coffee is in the delightful shape of "What a girl wants" by the delightful shape of Christina Aguilera. This weeks Wildman offering is "agadoo" by Black Lace. A rave classic. Please enjoy your meals!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A bloke has 3 sons. The first 2 are intelligent, quick and handsome but the 3rd is slow, ugly and lackadaisical. The geezer gets suspicious and says to his wife "Are you sure the third son is MINE?". The wife replies "Yes, of COURSE he is. Don't worry". The geezer cheers up. Then she says "but the other two aren't". Yo ho ho!

USELESS FACTS OF OUR TIME. PART 21.

Karen Beardsell used to be able to bend her spine into the shape of a Grasshopper. And she always turned blue if she ate Ready Brek while sliding down Cowcliffe Hill backwards. On a Thursday.

PERSON OF THE WEEK

This weeks gong goes to KAREN BEARDSELL for providing the Moulson and Parkin addresses. And also for being able to sing the Japanese National Anthem in Greek while eating a plateful of Salted Kippers which i forgot to mention above. Raise your toasties in honour of this marvellous female individual!

MEMORY OF THE WEEK

Remember that time when Sharon Bromley walked into rehearsal looking really fashionable and completely on Planet Earth for a change? Nah. Neither can I.

10 DODGY CHOIR RELATIONSHIPS. PART 21.

DAVE KENNEDY. AND HIS SENSE OF HUMOUR

I often brought me sense of humour with me to rehearsals which got me into all sorts of scrapes, including shouting b*ll*cks LOUDLY in Kens face, setting fire to Nigel Keenans jacket, attempting to set fire to one of Ross's gaseous emissions and blowing kisses at Saffron Stansfield which backfired on me BIG TIME. Me and me sense of humour are never apart from long, although i HAVE cheated on it a few times with my alter ego of Aloysisus McPartington the Third.

SONGS WE SANG, AND WHO THEY WERE REALLY WRITTEN FOR. PART 11.

"SIT DOWN, YOU'RE ROCKING THE BOAT"

This one was dedicated to the Choral Societty (spelt their name wrong to avoid being done for copyright) in honour of their masterful stroke of killing off the finest youth choir in the land, all based on presumptions and not on facts. THE classic line "Sit down, you're rocking the boat - so shut the ****up 'cos you're getting my Goat."

POETRY CORNER

There once was a fella called Hargrave
Who's favourite place was called Gargrave.
He went there a lot,
Just to sit on his bot -
And imagine his house was not far, knave.

I thank you!

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

Tim Short was the one and only person to get Rik Mayall as the comedian who appeared in "an American Werewolf in London". Nice 1! this week - In the Eighties, the Level 42 Bass Guitarist and singer Mark King started a trend for insuring body parts by insuring his HANDS. For how much? 1st in, or the nearest to, gets a trampoline, half a caterpillar and a Quart of Cinder Toffee. There is a bonus prize of my brother for the first to tell me what Level 42's first number one was. Good luck!

NEW SERIES!!! "NAME THE LYRIC"

1st in to tell me which song the following words are from gets a night in my garden shed. With Martin Cooper. "And i went through some nights, consumed by the shadows. I was crippled emotionally". Good luck!

HANDY HINTS

Recreate the effects of a visit to the local swimming baths by filling your bath with freezing cold water, adding two bottles of Domestos, then ur*nate in it.

PETER KAYE ONE - LINERS

"I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week. I rang her today but unfortunately, she'd popped her clogs"

Right, nearlly done. Hope y'all enjoyed it. Top of me head that one. In a good mood now. Let me know about your thoughts and feelings about what i said about what happened about 3 days ago about the reunion and the website. Know what i'm on about? I don't! Send me your all and your everything - Contributions for this mail, ideas for the reunion, and committee reccommendations. Nothing is too much for me - Determination is even higher now!

I'm on every night. Notice i didn't mention Leeds United. My heart bleeds, and no doubt someone will mail me and take the p*ss - Can't blame 'em really. But we WILL be back. And Town fans, wipe that smile and read these 2 words - ACCRINGTON STANLEY!

(Dave sniggers off into the distance)

Right, i'm off to get totally trollied with me brother. Will check the replies i get tonight, if any, as long as i can see just the ONE screen before me when i get back. Look after yerselves, and keep in touch!

Adios

Dave

"Marriage is a three ring circus. Engagement ring, Wedding ring. And suffering."